Buying or renting a house in Nigeria is not for the faint-hearted. You will negotiate like a seasoned diplomat, survive mysterious agency fees, and maybe even become best friends with your plumber (you’ll need them). This guide will help you navigate the drama, the unexpected twists, and the occasional landlord who believes rent should be paid in dollars, even though you earn in naira.

1. The Unwritten Rules of House Hunting

• “Serious Buyer Only” – This phrase means nothing. The agent will still show you a haunted house with no roof before showing you something decent.
• Never Trust Property Pictures – That lovely three-bedroom duplex online? It’s a self-contained BQ with “open-air ventilation” (a fancy term for no windows). Lol! Not at Dombert Homes and Properties.
• The Agent’s Favourite Line – “Better take it now, someone is about to pay for it.”  If this line had a soundtrack, it would be Mission: Impossible.
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2. The Magical Disappearing Features

When landlords list properties, they promise the world:

• Fully Functional Kitchen – Translation: The sink is broken, but you get a stove from the 1980s.
• Spacious Compound – Translation: If you stand outside, you must fight with your neighbour for fresh air.
• Good Road Network – Translation: The road is there… somewhere… after the potholes.

3. Agency Fees & The Mystery of Extra Charges

Congratulations, you’ve found a house! But wait—before you move in, you must pay for:

• • Agency Fee – The privilege of meeting an agent who does nothing except call you “Boss.”
  •  Legal Fee– Because looking at a rental agreement requires a lawyer’s expertise.

• Caution Fee – Nobody knows what this is for, but you must pay it.

4. The Landlord Chronicles

Your landlord may belong to one of these categories:

• The Silent Observer – You will never see or hear from them, except when rent is due.
• The Rule Maker – No loud music, no pets, no visitors after 7 PM, and NO enjoyment.
• The Dollar Enthusiast – Rent increased? Exchange rate problems? Somehow, your rent must be in USD, but your salary remains proudly in Naira.

5. Surviving as a Tenant

• Learn Negotiation Skills – If you don’t negotiate rent, prepare for yearly heartbreak.
• Invest in Generators – Power supply is unpredictable. Your landlord’s promise of “24/7 electricity” means 24 minutes of light every 7 days.
• Be Ready for Plumbing Issues – A pipe WILL burst. Accept your fate now.